Fact: it is much better and prettier to be alone, than to be with someone you do not like, or someone who takes more from you than what you are willing to give. But like idiots, we tend to forget this over and over again.

Nyc 3.29.14

I need you, to hold my hands. Both of them, tight, at a time like this. Because I'm scared. Scared that my skin will slowly cave in, sink, and merge with my thick thick blood. So that in the end there will only be a mess. Me a heap on the floor.
And this is why I need you now, to hold my hands. Both my hands. Tight. Don't let go.

Nyc 12.8.13

I have been seeing your name everywhere. On a
magazine cover, one of the neon signs I saw yesterday in
Chelsea, on the pavement right by the yellow putrid snow
(that turned out to be anything but your name but I did think of your
name nonetheless)
People have been saying it too! On the phone,
A man was swearing at his assistant because she called you (or someone
with your name), when the awful man was supposed to have called you himself.
On tv, you were the producer, the director, and three of the actors.
I read one of Sylvia Plath's letters to her dearest of mothers last saturday and I thought,
how yours must be the dearest of names.
I say your name as I eat my kimchi chige for lunch, as if you are Jesus Christ of some sort.
Maybe I will make a pin, of your name, and pin it on my skin, just above my heart
So you will stay.

Nyc 2.14.14 pws